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is it just me or am i just complaining about everything... lol... well... i'm sick again... first i had the headache, then the cough, and suddenly running nose... i felt like it was a fever but my mum says it isnt... so i just took a panadol and now i'm feelin better... ooo, and i took those cough pills as well :) and the cold ones... it was all after i came home from band practise in school today.. its probably the weather... the heatwave... the temperature in the afternoon was 36'C.... and then it rained heavily... well, besides that, the reports on yesterday's spm results are out in the papers today... i cant help but feel jealous on all those people who got like straight A's and not just for the subjects in their stream, but for the other subjects in other streams as well... this year's high scorer scored 15 A1's in her exam... i wonder how she does it... i mean, basic economy is so BORING... and thats supposed to be 'basic'... and then i started thinkin about my few senior frenz who kinda did well... a.k.a a fren scored 6A's but din tell me cos she thinks thats low... i think thats ok... and then theres another who i wrote in my previous blog entry who cried even when she scored 9A's... this lead me to think about my turn... will i be able to answer the questions? will i be to score straight a's? this is my target: - BM at least a B4
- English MUST be an A1 for the general paper and the 1119 must be at least A2, lower than that and i will cry...
- Maths at least A2
- History at least A2
- Moral at least B4
- Biology at least C5
- Chemistry at least A2
- Physics at least A2
- Add maths at least B4
- EST at least an A1
- and Geography at least an A2...
So there you have it... my minimum target is 7A's... I really really hope i can do better than that, and so my maximum target is 9 A's. the reason why i'm doing this is cos i wanna have a positive outlook on my spm results... not being confident or big headed... just trying to be positive... but seriously, how can one be positive when i only managed to get 6A's 1B in my PMR in 2004 even though i studied so hard, and got nothing lower than a C for my trial exams. while my friends, the ones who got D for their history in their trials, and are simply clueless in their studies, manage to get 7A's... seriously, i dono what machoism i had in my body the day my pmr results were handed out that i did not cry, especially when, lets call the group of people X, manage to get straight A's in their pmr... ok... this may sound all gibberish but... it simply just isnt fair... i just dono what went wrong... i studied hard, never got a D, did my work, passed up on time... but i just didnt get straight a's. and you know wat, this pmr results thingy, really influenced me a lot... this makes me very very very worried this year. what if this happens again....? what if i study hard and yet those poor, blur, and confused souls manage to get straight a's...? that would really really really be unfair to me... i mean like... totally totally unfair!!!! you know, this pmr results 2 yrs ago really influenced me a lot... i have come to realize how stupid i am... seriously, if those blur people get straight a;s while you study hard yet get 6... boy, you really must be dumb... :( therefore, i question myself... why do your best and fail while others dont and succeed? i gave up trying my best, i lost my self confidence... i began to feel dumb... yet, i really cant stand it when i do better than them in school exams, and, yup, they got 7 a's and i only got 6... and i'm supposed to be the dumb one... aaargh... anyway... que sera sera, watever will be will be... i end this entry with a tear...
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