wow... i managed to sit through 5 hours of tuition. from 2.30 to 7.30 today. well i couldnt have done it without, a) food... the bakery lady today gave me an egg tart for free... cos it was late or sumthin... and hui ling got 3 free... b)my friends, who sat through every class with me, except sook keng, michelle, and sia... anyway, durin physics, we started on the chapter on electromagnetivit y. the teacher sez, there's loads of formulas to remember, and this is the longest chapter ever in form 5. well, out of the 30 formulas to remember, we learnt Q=It, Q=Ne, E=QV. whereby Q means the quantity of charges in the unit of coulomb, I is the value of the electrical current, t is time, N is the number of neutrons, e is a constant value of electrons. E is the amount of energy, V is the voltage value. ok, i'm not so sure, cos i'm typing this down without the help of the physics handout i was given... :P

add maths today was so boring. it was another teacher. and he was like boring the way he taught us intergration. i miss the other teacher. he is so funny and lively. in class today, there was this guy who was like so blur, he kept lookin at huiling's work. he even asked her (actually me, but i din noe how to answer his question in chinese. it takes my brain half a minute to process impromptu conversations in chinese or any other languages except english) how to do one of the problems.

bio was boring today as well.... i mean... there was loads to memorise. we learnt about homeostasis... it was like blablablabla... about the kidneys, and how they function by excreting urea, and salts etc. and for chemistry, we learnt about rubber; isoprena a.k.a 2-metilbut-1,3-diena a.k.a latex, poliisoprena a.k.a rubber polymers, and vulcanized rubber (i think) for rubber mixed with sulphur. and we did sum revision on alkana and alkena, and alcohols, and asid karbosik, and ester.... but i forgot everything since the first exam had nothing to do with those chapters...

left for home at 7.46, michelle's dad fetched us. me, sia, sook keng, and huiling sat behind... the car was kinda fit for four behind, so it was kinda ok. its a nissan cefiro. so anyway, we were all talkin about our senior page trip to Times Square tomoro... i was like talkin about all the rides, as well as michelle and we were like so excited. usually i'd be havin a headache on the way back.... but not this time.

got home just in time to watch melissa bein eliminated from american idol. she wasnt that good anyway. really surprised lisa was in bottom 3. totally unfair! there were contestants worst than her. and then i watched simple life interns. nicole and paris are just really dumb blondes... lol!

oh, i cant wait to go to Times Square tomoro!!!  

*3rd time i'm writing this entry.... Aaargh... i just keep pressing that back page button, and everything disappears...

woke up early this morn. reason? no specific reason, just wanted to be up early for a change. switched on the tv and nothing great was on.... well what do expect at 7am anyway... so i fed my dog, sassy her doggie biscuits... she did not eat at all the day before, and i was kinda worried about her. but anyway, she's alrite now, since she gobbled up her breakfast anyway. wanted to do my homework.. but i was kinda lazy... so i took my other dog out for a walk instead.. well that was after i noticed my hair sticking up at the back... sigh... applying my sister's hair straightening cream(without her knowing)  made it kinda better, only it made one side of my head flat.

 got back and watched this documentary show about the ganges river in india... this brit guy on tv spoke like her worshipped the river, and like it was the most beautiful thing in this world. seriously, he maybe the curries he ate in india made him go blind or sumthin, but if you ask me, a river filled with faeces, human ash and remains, rotten fruit, rotting flowers, carcasses is simply not beautiful. holy, maybe; but clean, no. of course, even malaysia has its on ganges river- the infamous klang river which flows through the capital city. the water is to die for, literally. its brown in colour and basically klang river doesnt even look like a river. it looks like this huge drain (the sides are cemented. and so is the bottom) full of brown water, and other things you wouldnt wanna noe.   

 after the documentary was oprah. i just loooove watchin oprah, and yes, i'm straight. today's episode was about this guy who became a porn star at 13. thanks to the webcam, he prostituted himself to the whole world untill he was discovered by this times magazine reporter, who eventually rescued him. and it seems, his father even helped him run his own porn site. it was really kinda weird and shocking...

anyway, i so wanted to do my homework after oprah. went up to my room with my books, and fell asleep instead. for 2hours. thats what you get for getting up early... but anyway, the sleeping helped, and as soon as i got up, i did my bm homework, feeling fresh and everything.

went to collect my moral project photos from the photoshop. the guy there was like, 'hey you dont have more that 10 pics, so im gonna charge you $3 extra for the handling fee..' and i was like what?? turns out he didn't print out the other pics in the cd. gosh.. the mentality of some people... i just have to print them out at ioi then. sighs... watched american idol, and well the only great singers tonight performin stevie wonder songs were mandisa, paris and taylor. the others were kinda boring, but i'm sure they did their best. i used to like kellie, untill she made that dumblonde comment when simon said she was a minx. she was like, (in southern accent) 'okay, i'm a mink y'all...' lol... and today ryan seacrest was like askin her whether she was arachnophobic, since she was like sayin her fake lashes looked like tarantulas, and  ;she was like,'yea, i'm afraid of bugs...' lol... she's cute... seriously...

anyway, i have tuition tomoro, and its like 2.30-7.50pm. i dont noe how i can last for so long, but we'll see... good night, y'all...! 

is it just me or am i just complaining about everything... lol... well... i'm sick again... first i had the headache, then the cough, and suddenly running nose... i felt like it was a fever but my mum says it isnt... so i just took a panadol and now i'm feelin better... ooo, and i took those cough pills as well :) and the cold ones... it was all after i came home from band practise in school today.. its probably the weather... the heatwave... the temperature in the afternoon was 36'C.... and then it rained heavily...

well, besides that, the reports on yesterday's spm results are out in the papers today... i cant help but feel jealous on all those people who got like straight A's and not just for the subjects in their stream, but for the other subjects in other streams as well... this year's high scorer scored 15 A1's in her exam... i wonder how she does it... i mean, basic economy is so BORING... and thats supposed to be 'basic'... and then i started thinkin about my few senior frenz who kinda did well... a.k.a a fren scored 6A's but din tell me cos she thinks thats low... i think thats ok... and then theres another who i wrote in my previous blog entry who cried even when she scored 9A's... this lead me to think about my turn... will i be able to answer the questions? will i be to score straight a's? this is my target: 

• BM at least a B4
•  English MUST be an A1 for the general paper and the 1119 must be at least A2, lower than that and i will cry...
• Maths at least A2
•  History at least A2
• Moral at least B4
• Biology at least C5
• Chemistry at least A2
• Physics at least A2
• Add maths at least B4
• EST at least an A1
• and Geography at least an A2...

So there you have it... my minimum target is 7A's... I really really hope i can do better than that, and so my maximum target is 9 A's. the reason why i'm doing this is cos i wanna have a positive outlook on my spm results... not being confident or big headed... just trying to be positive... but seriously, how can one be positive when i only managed to get 6A's 1B in my PMR in 2004 even though i studied so hard, and got nothing lower than a C for my trial exams. while my friends, the ones who got D for their history in their trials, and are simply clueless in their studies, manage to get 7A's... seriously, i dono what machoism i had in my body the day my pmr results were handed out that i did not cry, especially when, lets call the group of people X, manage to get straight A's in their pmr... ok... this may sound all gibberish but... it simply just isnt fair... i just dono what went wrong... i studied hard, never got a D, did my work, passed up on time... but i just didnt get straight a's. and you know wat, this pmr results thingy, really influenced me a lot...

this makes me very very very worried this year. what if this happens again....? what if i study hard and yet those poor, blur, and confused souls manage to get straight a's...? that would really really really be unfair to me... i mean like... totally totally unfair!!!! you know, this pmr results 2 yrs ago really influenced me a lot... i have come to realize how stupid i am... seriously, if those blur people get straight a;s while you study hard yet get 6... boy, you really must be dumb... :( therefore, i question myself... why do your best and fail while others dont and succeed? i gave up trying my best, i lost my self confidence... i began to feel dumb... yet, i really cant stand it when i do better than them in school exams, and, yup, they got 7 a's and i only got 6... and i'm supposed to be the dumb one... aaargh... anyway... que sera sera, watever will be will be... i end this entry with a tear...   

i'm soooo glad theory exam is over... gosh... right... i did not expect the paper to be that easy... i tought it would be harder... i really really reallly hope i can pass.. just a pass thats all i'm askin... and thats 66... anyway.. i went to the school where i was sittin my exam in really really early... like at 7.30-ish... so basically no one was there... and i waited till like 8.30 then only we could get in the class... btw.. today is spm result day!!! no for me... mine's next year.. hehe... so anyway i was readin and readin and memorisin my music stuff till 8.45 when the person in charge a.k.a. teacher of that school asked me to clear everythin, and she handed out the exam paper... as soon as i got the paper, i started scribblin down everything i memorised, the major and minor keys... and i swear to you that was all i was doin... but oh no, ms. sexually deprived minachi scolded me for 'answering the questions'... gosh.. it was so embarassing... i was just writing down watever i had memorised period... but oh no... she has to take it out on me just cos her freakin husband-slash-boyfren-sla sh-lesbien partner doesnt wanna sleep with her... damnit... if she wants sex so much go work at a brothel... a school isnt for people like you, y'know... students are for you to teach not for you to yell at... just cos ur sexually deprived and you have orgasmic-dysfunction... gosh!!! i was so pissed off... i din even wanna look at her stinkin face... i was even blushing... thank god i was sittin on the front row if not everyone would have turned to see me... she was all,'WHY ARE YOU STARTING NOW? PLEASE AH... YOU GOT 3 HOURS TO DO YOUR EXAM.... PLEASE... DONT DO KNOW!!!' which means in other words 'fuck you, get 3 hours also wanna start now... you have 3 hours to do your fuckin exam... just cos my parents din let me learn music, so i'm lettin out all my anger on you, you fucker boy... bla bla bla i'm sexually deprived bla bla bla... so i'm takin it out on you.... i'm a bitch bla bla bla...' aaaaargh!!! spoilt my mood!!! she just pisses ppl off... so anyway... question 4 and 5 was kinda ok.. but i really couldnt answer the composition bit... so i just put watever... seriously... i do hope i pass...

after that i came home for pancaragam... and boy the freakin weather is so damn hot.... pancaragam was soooo sooooo sooooo BORING and everyone was like totally ignoring me.... and i was havin a headache btw... jye ping was there as well... she was takin her results... my sis sez that her fren's sister cried even when she got 9A's.. out of 11 subjects... if that were me, i'd be crying out of joy... some people just don't noe how to appreciate what they have seriously... 9A's is really like a miracle for me... after what i;m goin through... well, we'll see how... i really am so nervous about my spm... first exam&nbs p;was horrible... note to self: start studying... after onlining of cors... lol 

ok.. the exams are so next week... so what the hell am i doin online anyway??? gosh.. i just cant seem to concentrate in my work... its 10:51pm rite now, and if i continue my work, i'll probably knock out... but i so have to hand in this theory paper tomoro for music!!! if i've said this once, i'll say it again... i dont noe what demon inside me made me take the theory grade 7 this year!!! as if i'm not stressed out enough...

well anyway, an update on my life... wasn't in school on mon-wed... cos i went for mssd... it was this athlethic meet thingy, where you compete with other schools in your zone, to represent your district... i, however, haviong no experience what so ever in this field of sports, just gave my name for the tryouts... well, thanks to the wonderful malaysian weather, it rained in the evening during the past 3 weeks... so well, the teacher in charge a.k.a ms. blur, did not have time to try us out, and so well, she kinda gave everyone's name for the mssd... well, i dont blame her or anything, cos i'm gonna get a certificate anyway, just for entering the mssd... but i have to miss school for like 3 days, and plus i couldnt get to go for the fraser's hill presentation skills motivation...

well, so there i was on monday at the UPM's stadium for the 800m race.. when i realized how skinny and small sized i was compared to the other contestants... well in fact, i tought i was gonna run for the 1500m race that day, but it was th 800m, so whateverr... anyway, like i was so intimidated by the other runners that i dono... i just couldnt run... i mean, i was in the L1 category, which means if your like aged 16-18 your in this category, so the other runners were all tall and hairy armpit-ed...  so anyway, i got last in my round... but overall i was 2nd last.. i clocked in at 3m:18s for that 800m race... pretty sucky but anywayz... i did my best... yup, i cant believe i embarassed the school's name in front of the whole UPM stadium... argh!!! and like there were a few teachers from my school helping out for the mssd event, and it was like embarassing!!!

2nd day was worst... well, got up at 5.00am, cos we had to be in school at 6.30, but the bus only left at like 7.20-ish.. cos like there's this girl who came around that time and she was like, 'oh i tot it was 7.30...' so we went of to serdang.. me being all confident and all cos like i was gonna run 1500m race, and long distance running is my forte.... but anyway, i gave up all hope when we were called.. cos all the same people who ran the 800m the day before were running for th 1500m as well. plus they made me stand in the heat, which made my shoes heat up. which made my feet heat up as well...   which eventually affected my running... haiz.. so i ended up being last (again), well if you dont count the two people who gave up halfway.... one guy fainted!!! i'm just proud i finished it in one piece... nathanel, the other guy from my school, didnt win, but i guess he made it to top 20...

the next day which was the last day a.k.a wednesday was the 400m race... which i din want to run at first...  but i think i ran the best out of all three events.. i was last in my round, but overall, i came in no. 29 out of 33... and i clocked in at 68secs... kinda slow but... i tried my best... plus i got to wear spikes for the first time!!! totally cool!!! only the school's ones are shitty and worn out, but great anyway... so a few ex classmates that day. was so bored during the brake, that i walked 2km to the university's canteen... along wit a few other people... went home at 5.30 that day after 4x400m race... teacher nearly wanted to put me in, but luckily another guy was there, or else lin an would have hated me for the rest of his life...

came back to school on thursday. everyone said i look so dark. michelle said i look like mat salled went for tanning!!! ms. mun said i have a healthy tan and that thong shud go for mssd cos he's so fair... i am darker than my classmates for the first time, but of course my skin hurts a lil cos it got sunburnt... well, anyway, i guess i gtg now... gd luck to ,me for my exams on mon!!! oh and gd luck to me tonite and tomoro morn on tryin to finish my thoery homework... sighs!!!